When Is It Time To Let Go of The Relationship?

Two partners for over 10 years with much invested- Fun, intimacy, good times, along with the bad times, fusing, arguing, etc. Now the two have made degradating, cut-throat, long remembered verbal abusive statements; along with manipulative religious and socially binding financial boundaries. They both acclaim unparralled faithfullness to the relationship, and supernatural devoted love to each other. Although, they both feel they have missed out on "a" significant part of life. One wants that part of thier life back immediately at the expenses of damaging the relationship even futher. The other is willing to create a plan that may not come as quickly, but will alot relationship freedoms, and liberties to both individuals without an abrupt phase of, "getting my life back". 1. Should they just give up on the relationship? 2. Should one just wait in limbo on the other to get thier life back? 3. Should the other slow down the rush and try to work out a plan? 4. Is there another alternative?